A Disappointing Run

I have had a lot to be thankful for lately. Things in my life have been somewhat on track. There is always room for improvement, but all in all I have a lot to be grateful for. Last month when Nike introduced a contest with the chance to run miles to get to go on the trip of a lifetime to Nike World Headquarters in Beaverton, OR, and then to Eugene, OR to visit track town and attend the Pre Classic, I knew this was my shot and I could run to get there. The challenge? You have to be in the top 10 from runners all over the world (or one of five randomly drawn wildcard entries)! I have never run much more than 100 miles in a month and in April, I ran 253 miles. I should be proud of this achievement, but unfortunately, I am not and all I keep thinking is why did I not run more? I needed to have run close to 400 miles in 21 days to make the Top 10 Leaderboard and I didn't make it.

I had a busy month and up until I flew to Washington, DC for my half marathon I had been running close to 20 miles a day. The leaderboard hadn't been released and I had no idea how close to the top of the list I was. When the leaderboard was finally released near the end of the challenge I was behind the leaders by 70+ miles and being in Washington, DC on a vacation with my parents did not give me the time to make up those miles. I wish I had run 30+ mile days at the beginning of the challenge. I didn't. 

I learned a huge lesson and one I wished had not come with the price of missing out on Eugene and a trip to Nike World Headquarters, which I hope will be my future employer! The opportunity for me was huge and in my mind I did not do enough to get there. I don't think I have wanted anything more than this. I literally couldn't sleep for days in anticipation of the competition. I felt like this was my moment. I ran mile after mile and sacrificed a speedy half marathon for the chance at Eugene. I worked harder with distance running than I have ever worked in my life. I ran morning, noon and night. I ran on the treadmill, trails and road. I didn't take a day off. Friends told me to stop and that I was crazy for even trying, but I didn't listen. I refused to back down from a challenge, especially one with so much potential for greatness. It wasn't enough. 

I've had many running opportunities and amazing adventures, but Nike has always been my dream. I know that someday I will get there, but for now, this missed opportunity hurts. I am amazed by the mileage that the top 10 runners ran and they deserve to win. I can't wait to follow their journey. I just wish with all my heart that I could have been a part. Chances like this are rare and I am disappointed that I am missing an incredible journey with a company and sport I am so passionate about. I would fly to Eugene myself if I could!

I get told no often, I work hard towards my dreams and I am trying to put this loss in perspective. I know it's a contest, a competition and there are no guarantees. What hurts so bad is that I believe that I could have run those 400 miles. Next time a challenge like this comes around you better believe that this girl is going to run until I have to crawl and never let anything or anyone stop me. This was a huge disappointment for me, but perhaps it was a lesson I needed to learn for the future. When another opportunity comes around, I will be a force to be reckoned with. 

Life doesn't always give us what we want. Disappointment comes with being alive and with being willing to take a risk. I put my heart into this challenge and I didn't win. It hurts, it's hard to deal with, but in the end it will make me stronger. It wouldn't hurt this bad to lose if I didn't care so much, and isn't that the mark of a true athlete? Putting your heart and soul into something makes it all worthwhile. How many Olympic athletes and teams have been crushed by missing the podium or that gold medal by hundredth's of a second? I'm in good company. 

I will train harder, I will push my body further and I will not let anything get in my way in the future.